You know, I’ve written the first line of this post at least 5 times now. I can’t think of a good way to start it. I’m not quite sure if this is about weddings or funerals or families, or missing mine, or adopting a new one or what. All I know, is that I’ve learned a lot about families lately, and when I look back, and I foggily remember the past five years, I’m not sure that I was supportive enough, and it makes me wish I’d been a little older and wiser, especially while Mom was sick.
There’s a lot that’s happened to me since ’04! I moved to Seattle, I moved to Walla Walla, got married and am STILL learning to live with my new family of in-laws, a step-son and all the things that come along with that. I’ve driven to Portland to visit my sister-in-law while she was pregnant with the twins, flown to Houston to celebrate my mom and her fight with cancer for a hair shaving party, watched one of my best friends give birth to a beautiful little boy, fought and made up with in-laws and family, been to Pendleton for a funeral, Houston for Nanny’s funeral, and this month Michael’s brother is getting married and now my aunt Cathie is very very ill – I’d love to drop everything and travel to see her and support my dad, because it’s family, and that’s what we’re supposed to do. Not sure that I can make it, but after the past few years, I guess I feel like when else are you gonna drag yourself away from your life, unless it’s to celebrate or to mourn?
Ugh. I wish family could be the people you see every day, not just when they’re “needed.” I have a family of people I see daily – I see them at work. Seriously. I’ve grown very very fond of several people at work, and sometimes they are the only thing that keeps me going. How backwards is that though? I can’t celebrate daily triumphs with my family, even the ones that live in this town, much less my mom, dad and sister.
I guess that’s what family is about though. They are the people you can ignore and forget or pass by until it’s TIME. Until it’s time to get together, to make it work, to cook the food, to travel to and fro, to plan, to support, to BE there, even though we don’t see them all the time, or talk to them with any frequency. How is it that blood can do that? It’s amazing!….and it’s one of those things that really make me believe in God.
I don’t know why that’s the final conclusion of this strange string of thoughts, but it is. Family makes me believe in God.
I realize I haven’t written much about food. It was the inspiration for this blog, or at least the intention. I just haven’t had a creative moment of food making wonder to share…there’s been so much to think about with work and life these past few weeks. I’ll get there, one day.