Off balance

It’s been an odd past week.  Michael got very sick, fainted and then proceeded to puke his guts out for 10 minutes in the middle of a Chinese restaurant parking lot.  I spent last weekend so worried about him that I didn’t want to leave the house.  Then I spent the rest of the week pissed off as hell because my manager betrayed my confidence and threw me under a bus.  So I decided to try to talk to HR about it, and I just got a pep talk over the phone and then stood up for the appointment the guy had set to speak with me about the situation.

I’m  down.  I’m reeaalllly down.  I can’t leave this job, traveling to another store would probably cost more in gas than I can handle while trying to finish paying off my debt and start saving for a house.  I WANT to be positive, but it takes SO MUCH energy to keep trying to plug along and give my managers chance after chance to actually do the right thing, to be the leaders they are supposed to be, and be disappointed time after time after time.  I’ve outgrown this little store, and I desperately need something else.  I guess the next lesson is learning how to cope with this whole situation, but I just flat don’t want to.  I took a half day yesterday, moped for the past 2, and today, I’d rather just call in, but my sense of responsibility won’t let me.  My imaginative side wants to call in and just let them handle the big project tonight, but I KNOW all they’d do is just dump it on someone else, one of my fellow DH’s who already have WAY too much to do.  I can’t do that to my team.

It’s time for anarchy, for a revolution, and instead of being able to put the temp on high and boil, I have to be content simmering on medium.  I guess some of the best foods are made on a simmer…patience, young grasshopper.

On a positive note, I’m trying to drag my sorry ass out of this funk.  I’ve booked a jewelry party with a friend of mine, and will host it on Nov 4.  I’ve been pining to try some appetizing appetizer recipes I found, and the only party I’ve ever had here was my bachelorette party.  Now that I have this fabulous new dining table, the extra chairs from the same, and a little more confidence in my cooking abilities, it’s time to invite some friends over, put on some heels and host something.

Here’s my menu IF and only IF enough people tell me they’re coming.  Even though most of it is Weight Watchers, I’d rather not have this much food clogging up my house.

Cucumber, lemon, basil infused water

Parsley and paprika mini cheese balls

Veggie Platter with a Feta/Spinach dip

Lemon pepper chicken tenders

Potato and Pea curried Samosas

I haven’t decided on dessert, but I’ll get there.  I might even put Michael in charge of that, or just buy something easy.  I found some incredibly delicious looking recipes in the most recent Southern Living, but I’m not quite sure if I want to roll and press caramels into apple leaf shapes just to have some people over.   Yeah…who has time for the stuff Southern Living does anyway?  Jeez…it’s like the Pottery Barn of hosting.

Well, I’m off for the day, let’s hope I can stay positive…I did start with a good onion today – a red one, in a Mexican style eggs benedict, with avocado, limes, cilantro and low fat yogurt over spinach, eggs and an English muffin.  It’s a recipe my mom sent me, and I loved it!

Can’t leave you without some quotes.  I’m tempted to start stenciling these things all over my house, but then people might think I am crazy. 😉

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
-William Ellery Channing

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them.
– Phyllis Battome

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